Thursday, October 22, 2009


the one day that i reckon i have enough strength to fast, my garndma insists she poach me an egg and its just i have to eat anything she gives me. at least its only a poached egg, she tried to make me toast too. once me and my dad move out ill be free to eat nothing. my past two weeks have been going good and strong. breakfast has been a tiny bowel of sultana bran and then recess and lunch have consisted of celery alone. although once i had tuna coz we didnt have any celery left. i can see and feel the difference. buut there would be a bigger difference if i didnt eat the dinner i was fed or the occasional icecream and milo ugh. at least theres been SOME progress. i just feel really inspired lately. and i hope you all feel the same, peace guys and girls (L)

Monday, October 12, 2009

tomorrows the start of something amazing

there are those boots again ^_^ but id prefer them in black. they make girls legs look so much smaller i reckon. and notice how shes drinking diet coke. woo.
its been such a good day. weve finished holidays and i was susposed to go to school today but i took an extra day off to relax. so i had the biggest sleep in all holidays. i started an assignment that was way easier than i thought. i showered. and i cleaned which made me feel awesome coz im obsessive compulsive. it was relaxing and made me feel awesome. i also decided what i was gonna eat for the next few weeks. breakfast will either be a small bowl of sultana bran or poached egg whites. then all i eat is celery. and for those rare nights that im at home for dinner ill eaither be 'sick' or eat very very little haha. and for those days where i know i need the energy i have sugar free redbull (only 10 calories XD) or skim coffee. i just feel really good about this :D ive been listening a song called with me by sum 41 and i think its beautiful. if anybody wants to chat with me let me know ;) coz i wouldnt mind talking to somebody with so much in common but somebody ive never had the chance to meet. night out ^_^

Friday, October 9, 2009

how strange

i know i havent written in all holidays but thats because ive felt so ashamed. i know your all gonna think this is totally disgusting but im pretty sure ive eaten some kind of mcdonalds food every day of the holidays, although some days its been like bread or half healthy stuff from the cafe. anyway its made me feel so sick that its almost all id eat in the day just one thing. but ive had a few good foods in the holidays. today i have just felt so incredible and ready to get back on track. and the good thing is i can feel that my work pants have gotten looser :D :D although summers just around the corner gotta get good. so i think as soon as schools back in 2 days (ugh) im gonna put myself on a strict diet of celery and sultana bran ahaha. a girl at my work went on a diet of celery and water for a month and shit she looked so skinny after wards. lucky girl. and the reason she did that was coz a manager called her fat. i hate her coz shes a rude, nasty bitch. but she is skinny and for him to call her fat..... how odd. i hope this is inspiration for some of you coz im actually so ready to get back on track. makes me feel happy. night babes 8D

Friday, September 18, 2009

kill me

ok so i havent posted in a few days. its coz ive been busy being a fat ass! ugh fuck my life. and the whole time i knew i was being bad. well fuck it im starting again. all i had for lunch today was celery and carrot sticks. and ive eaten other shit through out the day. but i went to the gym and i worked so hard. and i start playing basketball tomorrow! so hopefully......

ahh and 1 week left of horrid school then two weeks of fasting :) with the occasional carrot sticks and celery sticks. i hope this is inspiration for some off you ;D!! SOMEBODY GIVE ME YOUR FAVOURITE SAFE FOODS!


Saturday, September 12, 2009

sick as fuck =_=

i posted this picture coz i want boots like those :D but lets say im not gonna have the money for them anytime soon. its been a good few past days coz i either have flu or glandula fever and while its extremely painful i havent been hungry or even been able to eat like anything hahaah. and id like to leave some love for the people that commented on my last post about taking the iron tablets. im feeling better after reading them :) :) :) im so happy right now i just got back from the show with show bags full of crap haha and i dont even wanna eat any so ill just give it to the family and all my clothes from ebay got sent in got me super happy :D :D one more thing the new season of skins just came out and im watching it right now lol listen to me rant hahahhaha anyways ill post tomorrow coz i called up sick for work so ill have not much to do woo ;)

Wednesday, September 9, 2009


i feel sick. doctor told me im anemic (which means im iron deficiant) so im on these iron tablets right where i take one a day. they make my tummy hurt a little. one of my friends told me they are really easy to overdose on so ive been pissed off all night and i just took 3. then i googled it and if i had taken more i probs wouldve died. i wanna vomit i feel so sick. like to be honest im hating life i cant stand it right now i just wanna stay home and cry and watch movies. i wanna go outside and just run, run away and never stop running. i think my new obsessions gonna be celery and carrot sticks. ive been off track and its disgusting. friday night im just gonna drink myself silly :) but im borrowing a different girls dress, its really pretty seeing we have the same small sized boobs haha. i actually wanna take more tablets. i have things to look forward to but we allways have things to look forward to even people that kill themselves. i wanna be in pain. pain makes me feel better. my stomachs starting to hurt a little. i love how i only have enough guts to take 3 haha im such a pussy. goodnight babes (L)

Sunday, September 6, 2009

damn weekends

what a shit weekend. lets just say maccas may have found itself to my mouth although after i ate it i felt sick and couldnt eat anything else. but i know i can get back on track this week. i went to the royal show with my friends and i just love the show food and getting showbags and all that crap ugh good thing was that i only got magazine showbags and spent my money on rides woo i also wasnt hungry because i popped a pill to make it a better night. so i wast hungry and the thought of food made me sick, im going again this weekend coming and doing the same thing it should be good fun. sucks though this week im so busy ill have no time for the gym so i reckon ill just try and walk as much as i can anywhere i go. i also have ballet tomorrow night.
leave me some of your favourite safe foods to give me some ideas :D
night beautiful ladies and lads (L)

Wednesday, September 2, 2009

i feel so sick

ugh i just polished off a whole packet of lollies and some sultana bran and low salt pretzels. worst day ever. i think that breakfast is definately the key. coz i couldnt eat breakfast today coz of my blood test i felt like shit the whole day. i almost passed out a few times coz i couldnt go the gym. i guess it couldve been worse. tomorrows a new day and it should be a good weekend. i also have like no money so i cant buy any food :D woooo but tonight might be the last night for a few days i come and blog to you guys coz ill be at my friends house and she doesnt have internet.. but its good at her house coz they never have food and allways have takeout for dinner but she never forces me to have any..... i might post another later on depending on how i feel. stay strong girls :)

Tuesday, September 1, 2009


im so tired but i couldnt wait to get home and come write up on myself. i did so well i have approx 324 calories :) i had to work tonight and its allways hard (i work at maccas) and i get free food and shakes and stuff so i was getting uneasy thinking i might cheat and have something. luckily i just had gum the whole shift and chewed like a cow lol and all i had was a little diet coke :D and im not allowed to eat tonight or tomorrow morning coz i have to fast before i have some blood tests. which is a good excuse for not eating.
i have a question for some of you. what do you drink when you go out? coz i have a party next week and im gonna eat nothing during the day so i dont vomit up that night and get drunk easier. and theres no way im drinking plain spirits or not drinking at all! whats the best stuff to drink? i like pulse and cruiser blacks, udls have too many calories its like 300 a can! and thats so gross. last time i went out i didnt eat at all during the day and had like 8 pulse and i still threw up like all the alcohol so should that be fine? ugh i know its dangerous but my body is a temple and can handle this stuff hahhaha (L)
goodnight babes :)

Monday, August 31, 2009

nom nom nom

how nice does that picture look! mann i cant wait for summer but so much work to be done before then! ive decided to become a polo-pechetarian which means no meat but seafood and chicken. ive had a good day i did my two classes of ballet and throughout the day i have a slice of wholemeal toast with peanut butter, a bowl of sultana bran and some tuna. (i hope i dont trigger anybody with this post, if you think itll trigger you stop now! but its good food)
anyway we went to the shops aswell and i got gum, a big bottle of water, frozen baby carrots, celery, whole meal bread, jello, and low fat pretzels. i feel so good today coz im not even hungry. and its good coz a new friend of mine wants to diet too so when we feel hungry we just sit together and talk about losing weight, its so much easier to have a friend dieting aswell. i mean i dont call what im doing dieting but thats what she calls it and im fine with that. next week we wanna do the rainbow diet ^__^ although some of the foods are like ugh and we'll just skip a few out haha i mean i wouldnt eat like a plain onion : oh i also bought a pack of 30% less sugar starburst lollies because ive been feeling so strong i wanted to put them in my room to make me feel like i CAN do this :) also that girl wont let me borrow the dress for the party D: stupid cow but she said i could maybe borrow it another time. ugh ill have nothing to wear.
and before i go, updating this everyday feels so good for me. its like a food journel and if you eat something bad ill have to write it down here so thankyou to you reading :)
peaceee out guys (L)

Sunday, August 30, 2009

add on to that

the girl with the black dress, i dont know these people but thats the dress im borrowing off my friend, how cute is it!
but yeah.... keep dreaming
this is gonna require a week of strict calorie restrictions then a week of fasting
and i just bought an ana bracelet off ebay and hopefully thatll help me keep strong in my journey.
also im a very sporty person and i play ALOT of sports which is good but i also do an extra P.E. class at school which is heaps brutal and if i fast the moment i do exercise i just black out
does anybody have any ways of helping me with this? and no i dont wanna eat a cube of cheese, i hate cheese haha
and also a big ILOVEYOU to my first ever commenter you know who you are
thanks lovelies and soon when i can be bothered ill upload HEAPS of thinspo pictures i have so many, so keep posted fraaans (L)

whoever it is out there

i dont actually know if anybodys come across my blog yet

when you read this let me know ;)

i dont mind if nobodys reading it yet coz i think just writing in itself is helping me out

i made it through the week

and the dramatic change in my stomach was amazing :)

i have two weeks until this amazing party

and im borrowing my friends dress

she looks shit in it haha so i wanna have a really good stomach that doesnt stick out like a pregnant ladies

i think that seeing ive gotten through this week i can keep it up

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

pretty good

so ive decided that ill eat a medium breakfast and then not eat anything until dinner unlless im not home then ill have nothing
and its been going pretty well actually
im hardly hungry during the day and my stomach has already shrunk!!!
after a week of this im gonna start the ABC diet so next monday i'll start
i cant wait
in my diary ive pre organised each day with different choices so i can remember how many calories ive eaten
i know im new to this blogging, but somebody that would like to start the abc diet with me?

peace out.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

a little inspiration to start us off

the first day was easy,
the time just flew by
no hunger or pain
but you didnt know why

the second day was good
you told a few lies
you hid food in your room
then went to exercise

the third day was harder
unsure of yourself
you passed out twice
trying to hold onto a shelf

you cant bring yourself to eat
and you dont know why
some days you wish you could
and even the guilt of that makes you cry

on the fourth day
you can hardly awake
your body tries to go on
but you just tremble and shake

the fourth day goes on
your feeling very weak
you want to talk to people
but its too tiring to speak

your parents dont believe you
you think its all a lie
youve denied them the truth
and now you might die

you feel no hunger
this is no fluke
you have another cigarette
and begin to puke

the acid is hard
stripping your throat
your only 83 pounds
the scale is your suicide note

you feel dizzy and confused
your body aching in pain
you know you should eat
and still you refrain

your parents know now
but theyd never tell
your little brother watches
his big sister go through hell

you know you need help
but you worry about your weight
you dont think its bad enough
but when it is it'll be too late

the fourth day of fasting
no liquids since the third
because you fear water weight now
youre concerned hope is lost and youll never be cured....

i didnt write this myself but i find it very inspirational
i hope it helps whoever here has read my blog :)

i welcome myself

i want to share my journey to be thin with more people. i know i like to read about the girls that go through the same stuff that i do. i want to help with my tips and tricks. and i believe that if i write on here than itll help me. when i show the stats i know i havent been very small but im also very tall and muscular. im a ballet and jazz dancer although i would be better if i was smaller. i play soccer and basketball :)

hw-62 kilos/136.4 pounds
lw-53 kilos/116.6 pounds
cw-61 kilos/134.2 pounds

thats so gross /vomits
im not bulimic though i never have been and i doubt i ever will
you never know though

i just finished the 40 hour famine and that was hard
i want to do it every weekend
what i read was that fasting helps the body unaware to what people against starving says. because fasting is not starving.