Saturday, May 8, 2010

can't sleep

so i cant sleep and i think its because ive probably had a little too much caffeine today. mhhm. my life right now is so depressing i just want to cry and never stop. i think i should buy a set of scales because maybe then, i wont give in to the little voice inside my head thats telling me to eat that one little thing. my week went well though because each night before i went to bed i planned out my meals for the day and i followed them well. i incorporated exercise in but not enough. then comes the weekend. i have to work, and working at mcdonalds is the worst possible place to work when you want to be slim. during shift its so so so hard to resist food thats thrown at you. im disgusted by the meat so i dont eat that buts it usually shakes, fries and icecream ughhhh. i just cant help it. luckily im only working two days a week now. and i took my big ass bottle of water in today which probably cut out a bit of my usual intake. im so tempted to quit just so i dont have those temptations but ive been there so long, and they love me and im getting so far. haha i know that sounds lame, that im getting far at maccas but its true :)! im friends with my bestie again, we havent talked for like 2 months, its pretty sad. shes on a diet and wants to start exercising which i said id join her in. this week my goal is to exercise in all my free time no matter what the wheather or time which is usually so difficult for me. so im feeling a mix of shit and a mix of good, but mostly shit haha. oh i wish i wish i could just float away into nothingness...

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