Rest in peace girl, your death is such a shame
The paper said a bullet got in your way
But I smell foul play, possible poisoning
I had to bring you in for questioning
I went to your grave, dug up your body
Brought it to my house, where you lay

So let's play doctor babe
We'll operate today
Incisions must be made
You could help solve this case
For me...

I headed downtown, to share what I had found
It's not a suicide, it's a crime
I have a witness, it's clearly evident
There had to be someone else present
At the time of death, poisons in stomach
How could she pull it, if she's dead?

So let's play doctor babe
We'll operate today
Incisions must be made
You could help solve this case
We need a scalpel now
Under white lights you lay
We've got to hurry up
Before the flesh decays
Away...away

I'll catch the murderer
And send him away
I'll get the evidence
From your last day

Your last day...

new

so over the past week ive been doing well, not eating fantastic but not too bad either, i can see myself transforming again. id like to also thank some diet pills for a bit of that. but like no joke, i just woke up from an amazing dream. i was a proper anoretic, they put me into hospital and it felt good. it was pure control. even after now being awake i feel inspired. so for the next few weeks/months whenever, im gonna focus my intake purely on carrots and mustard, with the occasional strawberrie, slice of cucumber, or watermelon. because i want this. fuck food, sure it tastes good but since ive been chasing this dream for such a long time its time to make the dream reality. fuck fuck fuck. wow i feel so enthuised. so thats that. ill hopefully update again soon :) stay strong, and i hope you all find the inspiration i have :)

normal

holidays were pathetic. i tried to fast then id break down and eat coz i was working so much. i couldnt handle it. first week back at school i ate healthy/normal. last night i broke down, 5 hours of panic attacks, yelling at my boyfriend, breaking things, crying. until i took 3 sleeping pills and i was knocked out. see ive tried to be normal but it ends out with anxiety. so to control my anxiety i need to control my food /sigh. for the next 3 days ill be living on green tea, water and diet pills. aha. my dad got me a gym membership as im competing in an annual 12k fun run. so yay. sorry i havent blogged in ages i just felt too pathetic. write up soon :) wish me luck on the next 3 days aha. x

sucess

so im sick of failure, my frame of mind has been so right over the past week, just eating healthy doesnt work for me aha. since monday i have been juice fasting as well as doing a minimum of an hour intense exercise a day, and i have formal this week so its been the biggest inspiration. right now my body is telling me it would be so easy to eat. but i cant ruin this now. oh well i will update soon :)

day 3

so the week of fasting was ruined by the flu :( i have been so sick today and i didnt eat until i had too, and all i had was pumpkin soup and 2 slices of toast with a little peanut butter :( i feel a little better. but although im sick i plan to go for a walk/run later. and then to start fasting again tomorrow because after the first 2 days i lost heaps! ill update again soon :)

nomnom

i think a nice little week of fasting will do me good. starting tomorrow - tuesday

thinspo/determination

so im feeling so proud of myself :) its only been 3 days but theyve been fantastic - well when it comes to this issue anyway :) so ive been able to control myself, and ive started exercising in my room each night while reading wasted so i must say i recomend reading of the book, ive read it all in the past 3 days! and ive found it the biggest thinspo, each morning i watch the pounds drop off! along with lots of water, coffee, and sugar free mints :) i think until i find another book besides winter girls (which really isnt as good) i will continue to constantly re-read over and over again wasted. it makes exercising not so boring plus provides me with inspiration.

im in such a good mood about this. if i continue with major success, i may actually posts stats next week! eeeeeeek :D

stay strong, and your all beautiful :)